Jar Head

Jar Head Mom. That's what you can call me now.  Not in the "Get down, Marine!" kind of way.  Think baby food.
The homemade baby food gig is not going well.  Maybe I'm an impatient person. Okay, no maybe.  I am.  I've stuck with the same foods like is suggested by everything I read, but he has not taken to them.  Every day I try, at least a few times, but it's such a fight.  He screams and only seems to want the bottle. I try not to force it, as I know that will only create a negativity about foods.

Well, on Thursday I am leaving for Mississippi to visit family and I'd rather not pack a cooler of homemade baby foods to take (and TRY).  It's just too much of a hassle.  I decided to purchase baby food for the trip in order to keep my attempts going as I'm away.  It was almost painful buying them at Target today.  I didn't want to spend the money. Homemade is so much less expensive!  Also, I was disappointed in the selection.  Target only sells Gerber!  Whatever. I bit the bullet, purchased them and came home.  I bought foods I've already made for him because I wanted to do a comparison.  On the menu: Sweet Potatoes and Carrots.  When I returned home it was time for him to eat, so I decided on a whim to try the Gerber. I was certain he was going to reject the sweet potatoes, just as he always does.  That means taking them, spitting them out, make a distasteful face, then proceeding to cry, and cry, and cry…and cry and staying tight lipped any time I try to insert more food. That is, until he has a bottle.
First bite came and he opened his mouth to take in the food, swallowed, then opened his mouth for more! Surprise!  I was happy, but I was also a little hurt by the fact that he didn't like MY sweet potatoes.  He devoured the entire 2.5oz in no time.
Then I thought of something.  Let it be known that I am NOT a good cook (I have many, many stories to prove this), so maybe Blake figured that out from the beginning. HA (But really, homemade baby food is a sinch.)
So, maybe I give up the homemade gig.  He's made his choice. ;)

Though I do want to find something that is more natural than Gerber, even though the front of the Gerber food says "Natural."  (Roll eyes: "natural" is trendy. I get it. But let's not slap something on there when it isn't entirely true)
I know there are other foods out there that are a better choice, I just don't know much about them.  I was so set on making his food that I didn't bother to do the research.  And since I only planned on buying food for this trip only, purchasing Gerber didn't bother me too much.  I just don't want to keep doing it longterm.  (This bit of info also coming from his pediatrician who said Gerber is amongst the worst to give them.)


This is also difficult for me because I've told so many that I'm making his food, despite the fact that he wasn't taking it well. I said I was going to keep trying and not give up.  Sigh.
So I guess this is my public confession that I'm leaving the world of homemade baby foods behind.  I'm disappointed in myself, but the ease of which he took the food spoke volumes.
Call me a quitter.

I know what some people are going to say, "I fed my baby Gerber and he turned out just fine." I understand that.  I was just so proud of myself that this was something I was doing that I knew was going to be healthy and good.  Something that was "natural".  I am the worst "natural" mom ever.
Others may be thinking "Just stick with it.  He'll take it eventually."  I guess I lack the stickwithitness.  Sometimes the effort is exhausting.  (This totally makes me sound selfish. Ugh.)

In order to make myself feel better about this entire situation, I decided to make an organizational list.  That always makes me feel better!
It's a "Baby's 1st Foods" checklist that I'm going to hang on the fridge to help me keep track of foods that Blake has tried, and reactions to such foods, if any.  I also incorporated the date since research suggests foods should be tried for days at a time and not skip around between foods in the beginning.

If you'd like to use this checklist you can download the PDF format here.

Rock on, baby-food-jar-moms! Let's be Jar Heads together!

 OOR-AH! <---said in my best, manly, deep, Marine voice

The Truth About Your Body After Pregnancy

Warning.  This will get personal.  Skip now if you know you don't want to know!


Let's get real here.

I'm probably one of the most modest people you will ever meet.  Even before pregnancy you wouldn't find me in a two-piece bathing suit.  If you've had a baby then you probably know exactly what I'm going to talk about based on the title.  If you've never had a baby then these might be things you're wondering about. I know I wondered them.  And the things I did know about I was certain wouldn't happen to me.  *Sigh* 

This isn't one of those posts where I talk about all my bodily changes after pregnancy and I sentimentally praise them and tell you that my kid enjoys my stomach jiggling and he belly laughs when he sees it.  Nope. I love my kid, but I do NOT love my post pregnancy body.  

This is just a post telling it like it is.  I'm working on returning to my girlish figure, but it seems there are some things that just don't go back.  

Like hips! Those birthing hips serve a purpose, but mine certainly don't seem to be going back.  

My hips are wider and I fit into ONE pair of pants post pregnancy.  Every other pair of shorts or pants are just hanging in my closet, awaiting a day that I'm not sure will arrive. (Here I am, revealing my secret and reason why I wear dresses and skirts…elastic waistband, people!)

Sometimes when I laugh really hard or I sneeze, I pee my pants a little.  I was certain people were just telling me this to freak me out.  Or I thought to myself "Yeah, right.  THAT'S not going to happen to me."  Well, it does.  And I feel like an 80-year old every time.  

My boobs are pathetic.  Not that they were ever really perky to begin with.  Pregnancy boobs are nice because they're firm, and you kind of hope that bit will stick around.  But it doesn't! So when pregnancy is over and you stop breastfeeding, they suddenly look like a deflated balloon after 10 days of just sitting around, forgotten in a corner.  They're squishy, and droopier than they once were.  No amount of working out or eating healthier is going to help them to return to yesterday.  Thank you to the inventor of the push-up bra! 

That pesky little linea negra - the dark line that runs from your bellow button down.  (And in my case, above my belly button, too). When it showed up on me during pregnancy I freaked out a little, but became used to seeing it.  I was sure it would disappear after Blake was born, or shortly thereafter.  It didn't.  Seven months later and it's still present.  Some have told me it can take up to a year to disappear.  Others have said it doesn't go away.  

Love handles.  Why the heck are they called love handles anyway?  There's nothing LOVEly about them. I certainly don't LOVE them.  I curse them every time I put on a shirt in the morning, or a bottom that's too tight…and they so "lovingly" hang off the sides of my clothes. 

Ohhhh, the lower stomach pooch!  Raise your hand if you love it?!  

And the excess fatty bits beneath your bra line? HA.  

There was a time when I was cold all the time. You'd most likely find me wearing a sweater, or at least carrying one, during summer months.  I rarely wore tank tops out because I knew there would be a chance I'd go somewhere that had the air cranked down too low and I'd find myself freezing.  Every morning I had my heater on in the car, even in the summer. (So not kidding!) I was a cover hog at night, and often got into "cover wars" with my husband from being so cold.  Post pregnancy? I sweat in the middle of the night.  I don't need to carry around a jacket everywhere.  I blast the air in my car as cold as I can get it, ESPECIALLY during the summer.  My hormones are whacko.  

And with whacko hormones suddenly I've developed acne again!  Not bad, but I did not have ANY issues before being pregnant.  Now I find I'm fighting back pimples all over again, just like I was in middle school.  

My hair was once oily. Now it's more dry. (In this I will admit I do prefer to have the dry hair)

I did manage to escape any and all stretch marks. I'm not even sure if it helped that I lathered myself in cocoa butter lotion several times a day.  I've heard you get them or you don't and nothing you do helps or hinders.  I don't know.  

Despite all of my post pregnancy body changes, yes, it was all worth it.  It's just a lot harder to get rid of a post pregnancy body, than it is to get rid of your changing body after you've eaten too many bags of chips and sodas.  I could work harder at it.  But I also don't think I'm ever going to get back to the way I was exactly.  

And you know, I bought these cute little JCrew shorts before I knew I was pregnant.  They still have the tags on them!  I WILL get back into them one of these days.  

I think I may need a hip reduction first, though.  

What post pregnancy body change do you have that have surprised you? 

You're Gonna Wish These Days Hadn't Gone by so Sast

Last night at 10:30 I walked upstairs, pulled my son out of his crib and cuddled him while rocking.  I risked waking him up but I honestly didn't care. He slept in my arms, with his arms wrapped around my neck.  His head was sweetly nestled on my shoulder.  I rocked him, and I cried.  I'm not really sure why I cried, but I guess the only thing I can put into words is that I cried because I love him so much.

Tonight I am feeling nostalgic for the phase that Blake is currently in, for the time that I have now, that I do not yet miss but know that someday I will.  As I was sitting on the sofa tonight I had a flash forward of Blake being all grown up, coming home from high school, throwing his backpack on the floor and rummaging through the fridge.  I know it'll all be here before I know.

People always say "Enjoy this.  They grow up so fast."  People say it so much that I kinda get tired of hearing it.  But, it's really true.  These (almost) 7 months have whizzed by. Sometimes I feel like I was pregnant just yesterday.

Because he's growing so fast, and I already know I'm going to miss everything about him, I'm vowing to take more time with him and cherish the little things. Some would call me crazy for doing some of the things I do, but judge me.  I don't care.

Sometimes I wake him up whenever I want to and cuddle him, no matter how asleep he is.  I'm his mom, and I know how to easily get him back to sleep. But he won't be this little forever, so I need to get my cuddles in now. Someday he'll want to punch me in the face for waking him up in the middle of the night.  (That's' what I'd do to someone, at least!)

Despite the fact that he's fully sleep trained and can entertain himself in his bed until he falls asleep, I still let him fall asleep on me every once in a while, just so I can hold and snuggle him. One day he's not going to want mommy to hold him while he falls asleep. Instead, he'll be talking to his girlfriend on the phone.  I know this.

My house is a wreck, but it doesn't have to look perfect anymore.  Rather than sticking Blake somewhere to entertain himself so I can clean, I sit on the floor and play with him myself.  There will come a time when he'll only want to play with his friends, and not me anymore.  I know this.

I take way too many pictures, of which many I post online for the world to see. Still, there are many I don't post because I'm pretty sure if I did then people would stop following me on Facebook. I take so many because he changes so much, it seems, from day to day and I never want to forget what he looks like at each stage in his life.  That, and everything he does is adorable and I feel the need to capture it.


In the span of one week Blake made his way on all fours and made beginning motions of crawling, pulled himself up to stand while holding onto the ottoman, used his high chair for the first time, and sat up in the bathtub without the infant sling.  Too much for me to handle at once! STOP THIS TRAIN! (Yes, I'm channeling John Mayer.) How can this be happening so soon, and so close together?

It seems depressing that I'm thinking about all of this, but I'm trying so hard to soak it all in and not miss a beat.  It can be hard enough being a working mom and not having the opportunity to "be there" for every little thing he does.

I just need to slow down time.  My obsession with Time Travel needs to come to fruition so I can just travel back to this moment whenever I like!

So, the million dollar question? How do I slow this down?  How can I enjoy this time more?  I don't want to look back and wish I'd done something that I could be missing now.  I already know I'm going to miss this, and it's right here in front of my face.

You can totally say it.  "Brittney, you're weird, and irrational." It's fine. I hear it all the time!

I guess the cool thing is, not only do I have pictures and videos, but I also have this blog to reflect on.  One day I can even look back on this post, you know, when he comes home from school and throws his backpack on the floor and rushes to the fridge, and I'll have a deja-vu and hopefully I'll remember this moment.
This moment when I walked upstairs and took him out of bed, again, to snuggle him.  Yep, that's what I'm going to do right now! I'll try not to cry tonight though.

The Truth About Marriage When You're A Parent

I think there's one common thing that goes through a new moms head "Are we the only couple who are struggling?"
Since I became a mom I haven't been shy about asking other moms questions about being a married couple after having children.  Some, I feel, have been hesitant to share with me, (which is fine).  Others have freely shared.

Don't be fooled into thinking that every couple seems to have this down pat better than you.  Just because you see new parents all smiley doesn't mean things are perfect.  I feel like everyone is trying to hide it and pretend like they're doing amazingly with their new bundle of joy, simply because they are afraid to ask because they think they're the only couple on the planet who doesn't seem to have it all together.
New moms, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.  I promise.
I doubt there are any men reading this blog.  I'll be shocked if so.  Only because it's only us women who seem to be concerned with questions that we mull over for hours and hours of the day, "what's wrong with us? "why aren't we better at this?" "how come [insert couple] seem to be doing so well?" "what are we doing wrong?" "why can't my husband be as great a dad as [insert name]?"
And let's face it, women have an awful habit of comparing themselves to other women.  Men could care less about what others think, or how they look in comparison to someone else.

First of all, as new moms, we need to stop comparing ourselves.  It's just not healthy.  I'm not excluding myself here, as I'm just as guilty.  I look at other couples with new babies and become jealous when it seems they're doing just peachy in their marriage!  Then I become my nosey self and ask how they're doing so well, and I usually get the truth during a private conversation.  What's the truth?  Being a parent is haaaaarrrd on a marriage. In fact, it can downright suck at times.


Nope, moms, you're not alone.

I'll begin by saying Michael and I have a great marriage.  Really.  We've been married nearly 9 years, and we waited 8 of them to have children.  We've grown up together.  We've been through numerous deployments overseas, we've lived in 3 states, we've gone from living in a 1 bedroom apartment to owning 2 homes.  We've been really poor, and we've been really ri….oh wait, we're still waiting on that one.
We've never raised our voice at one another.  We don't fight. (We have calm "discussions"--it's never a good idea to talk about anything when you're on fire about something.  Always wait! That's our rule.) We like to do a lot of things together instead of a part.  We compliment one another well.

With that being said, having a kid sort of threw a wrench in our relationship.
When Blake was born, Michael was instantly an AMAZING father.  I was rushed into surgery right after he was born and because of some complications I was completely "out of it" for the next 2 days after delivery.  Unfortunately, I remember very little.  I just remember waking up for a few minutes here and there and seeing Michael snuggle with Blake.  I've since learned that Michael took complete care of him while I recovered--learned to swaddle him, fed him, changed him, soothed him…everything, since I was unable.  Being a dad is clearly a job he was made for.
Michael helped with every aspect of both of us being new parents.  We learned everything together because we were both clueless.  He took initiative in every way……..but kinda freaked out when Blake got fussy.

And so it began...

Moms, you're not alone when it comes to wondering about your marriage in the wake of your new role as parents.  YOUR MARRIAGE WILL CHANGE. You will wonder a lot.  You will see your spouse in a new light.  Together, you will have a difficult time adjusting.

You're not alone in wondering why he can't handle it when the baby is crying and why he's in such a rush to give him back to you.  If baby is not hungry, is not sleepy, and has a clean diaper then by all reasonable accounts there's no reason for him to be crying.  I'm convinced men are incapable of seeing anything beyond this "checklist" of sorts.  You're not alone when you're mad at your husband because you just want HIM to be able to calm the baby instead of passing him back to you. After all, you usually know how to calm him, right?

You're not alone when your husband comes home from a hard day at work and ALL you want to do is pass the baby along so you can get a mental break and there's an instant "discussion" that occurs because he just wants to wind down after a stressful day before taking over baby duty for a bit.  But, wait, you want a break too!

You're not alone when you just want some alone time so "daddy" watches the baby while you go shopping for a bit, then he texts you an hour and a half later saying "I love you.  Hope you're having fun……when are you coming home?" And you feel guilty and go home because it's clear things aren't going well.

You're not alone when you arrive home and get the play-by-play and learn the baby was crying and daddy couldn't figure out why and he was frustrated…hence the text.

You're not alone when you get up in the middle of the night (because it's your turn) and you THROW the covers back and just want to scream, and slam the bedroom door behind you, because, despite it being your turn you still want to be really mad at your husband for not volunteering to take this one.  Not because he doesn't do his share when it's his turn, but just because you're really, really tired. And truthfully, you probably do more getting up in the middle of the night anyway.  Let's be honest.

You're not alone when your husband says he's looking forward to little man getting older so he can do things like take him camping, and throw a baseball, and all you can think about is how quickly he's growing…and it makes you kind of sad. Then you get all emotional thinking your husband dislikes having a baby at all.  And so you bring this up to him, and well…..argument?

You're not alone when your husband seems to constantly be busy, and seems to have little time for you and baby.

You're not alone when you're wondering if he's the only husband on the planet who doesn't want to keep the baby for more than a few hours.

You're not alone when you feel guilty about being away from the house for more than an hour while hubby is on baby-duty, just because you know he's anxiously awaiting your return.

You're not alone when you ask your husband if you want any more kids and he either blankly stares at you, tells you let's not talk about it right now, or he just downright says no.

You're not alone when you start to question whether you should've had kids at all, because this is really, really hard on the two of you.

You're not alone when you wish for just a few moments that things could go back to the way they used to be.


YOU'RE NOT ALONE.



Stop comparing your marriage! Oh wait, I already said that.  Maybe because it's important. And maybe because I need to reiterate this to myself just as much as I do to you.  Stop comparing it to happy pictures on Facebook, and families you see out in public.   You wonder, "Why can't my husband be as awesome a dad as that guy?"
Truth is, our husbands ARE as great a dad as anyone else.  In fact, even BETTER!  He's better because he's the father.  He's better because no one loves him like I do, despite how angry I get with him.  He's better because he tries really hard to understand ME (in all my emotional craziness), even though he doesn't say it.

Men can be so complicated.

I've done a lot of praying over our issues. I've also done a lot of talking with Michael.  We've had a lot of discussions, trying so hard to understand each other.
I just want him to BE there, emotionally for Blake and I.
He just wants me to understand that he is being there, but in a different way.
I struggled for a long time trying to understand what the heck he meant.  Simply because HIS being there wasn't the version of MY being there.

Then, God started to reveal to me…
God created men and women very differently. Women are, by God's plan, the nurturers.  Men are, by His same hand, the providers.  Men operate on logic and reason.  Women operate on emotions and, well….emotions!

Our husbands feel more of a need to provide for our family than ever before.  There's a new person in our lives that HE feels responsible for.  Men think very far into the future.  He's already thinking about how you both are going to pay for his college, or his first car.

 Just understand that we are created differently and we serve a different purpose.

Sometimes it's difficult to understand the "why" of our husbands, and it's better to just understand that God made them that way.  And for good reason.  If men were just as emotionally driven as we are then I imagine we'd be in constant competition over who was the better parent.  And who is the better parent is not what it's important. If were were driven in the same manner as our husbands then...well, I honestly don't even know what that would be like.
What's important is that you work together to raise your child with the best of intentions.
Yes, God knew what he was doing when he designed men and women. Because of His wisdom our children have the best of both worlds from mommy and daddy.

Michael said something to me one day as I was bringing up many of the things mentioned above, and how certain things were bothering me that he was or wasn't doing.  He thought for a moment and said, "Now that we're parents we really need to play to our individual strengths to raise him in the best way possible. In the end we [obviously] want what's best for Blake, we just have our own ideas about how to be the successful parents we want to be.  Neither way is wrong.  Your way is needed, just as much as my way is needed."
I realized a lot then.
His way: providing financially, being the head of the house hold, taking on all the duties like mowing the lawn, home improvements, working extra hours to pay off bills.
My way: securing a job so that Blake can come to work with me, being the nurturer--an important role at the beginning of a child's life.
Our roles are specific to the point we are at in our lives with Blake.


I have to remind myself of this often.

We recently had a lengthy discussion about making our marriage a top priority.  We've constituted board game night with just the two of us, we've vowed to leave the TV off after Blake goes to bed.
It's not about getting upset with him when all I want to do is just get away and spend some time alone, it's about strengthening our marriage and spending the few moments of quality time we have TOGETHER, not apart.


I'd wish I could give myself a note 5 months ago (you know, in case Time Travel ever became possible!)
I'd tell myself to let Michael be the provider, because there are many aspects that he feels burdened by not only as a husband, but a father.  His way of loving us is by providing with his hands--working.  My way is giving my heart.  See how the two work together?  Heart and hands.  You need both.

We shouldn't get mad at our husbands for all the things we think they are doing poorly as a dad.  Instead, we should pray for them.  Actually, even more importantly, pray that we would understand them.
Ask God to give you the wisdom to truly understand your husband and God's purpose for him.  Let God open YOUR eyes to the ways of your husband.  I can almost promise you that our husbands are doing an amazing job at being dads.  They're being just the kind of dads that God wants them to be, that God tells them to be.

I don't have this perfect.  Michael and I are learning as we go with this whole parenting thing.  I wish I could've magically realized all of this BEFORE we had kids, so we could've avoided soooooo many arguments. This has been such a learning experience, and boy have we learned a lot about one another!

Remember what the bible says about the role of a man..."Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" -1 Timothy 5:8

I wonder what all the dads would talk about if we threw them in a room together and asked what they'd put down on a "You're Not Alone When Your Wife…." list.  Hmmm.
I probably don't even want to know….because, you know, I might cry! 

The Truth About Being A Parent

I've said from the beginning that I really wanted to be real in this blog. I feel like I need to preface by saying how much I enjoy being Blake's mommy.  No, LOVE. That he melts my heart, and the highlight of my day is getting "Mr. B" hugs the moment I see him after having been at work all day.  His laugh makes me laugh, even when I'm having a bad day.  I enjoy giving him a bath every night because he smiles and giggles his way through it. (Do all 5 month olds love baths this much?!)  I'm eager every morning to get him out of his crib just so I can snuggle him.  The second I lift him out of his bed he grins from ear to ear.  My heart aches when he cries or is in pain.  Sometimes I cry when he cries. I love dressing him in the mornings because he looks so stinkin' cute in every outfit I put on him.  Every time Blake passes a mirror and seems himself he smiles and giggles. (I think we are raising a narcissist!) It's so sweet to take a step back and watch Michael play with him and see the daddy-son bond that has formed between them.
I'm nearly convinced we have quite possibly the happiest kid on the planet. Well, most days.

With that being said, being a parent is H-A-R-D. My only hope is that I won't be judged for this, but, whatever.

If you're one of those people who is "on the fence" about having a child, don't.  You need to be sure it's what you want, or what God wants of you because this will change your whole life.  Not in a bad way, but I can almost guarantee not much will be the same. And if you love the life you're living and are nervous to give particular parts of it up, then being a mom or dad isn't the job for you.

You will sleep less. A lot less.

You will give up the majority of any free time that you have to yourself.

You will give up the majority of any free time that you have to spend with your significant other.

You will have to turn down more shopping outings and happy hours than you ever have before.

You will not be able to watch your favorite show on television when you want.  In fact, your DVR will pile up. You will get behind on your shows, and you will have to beg people not to talk about the latest episodes while you're present.

You will have to forfeit purchases you would normally make for yourself and buy baby items (if you're on any sort of budget.)

You will not have any "veg" time, except after the baby goes to bed.  Coming home after work and relaxing is pretty much out of the question.

You will stare at the clock, realize baby has 4 more hours until it's bedtime, and wonder how you're going to muster the energy to entertain him between now and bed, when all you really want to do is sit on the sofa with a glass of wine and watch tv.

You will run out of ways to entertain him and you will get in your car and drive to Target just to walk around and kill time.

You will hear him crying in the middle of the night and pray to God that he goes back to sleep because you're just too tired to deal.

You will time every outing you make based on when he ate last and when they will eat again.

You will fight with your significant other over every little thing because you're both so tired that you can't even function, and you feel like you have to take it all out on someone.

You will fight with your significant other over whose turn it is to do what-even though you thought you planned all of this out.

Women, you will get mad at him when he comes home from work and all you want to do is pass the baby over so you can get some alone time, or just have a little break.
Men, you will get mad at us when we try to hand over the baby because you've worked a hard day and you just want to have a little alone time, or a break.

You will miss spending quality time with your significant other.  You will try to fit in time after he goes to bed, but sometimes you're both too tired after working all day to truly enjoy your time together.

You and your significant other will not be able to sit down and eat together at the dinner table (unless you eat at 9:00 or later). Instead, you will eat in shifts as one watches him and the other eats.  Or, one of you will eat while bouncing him on your leg and trying to entertain him as you try to eat yourself, and carry on adult conversation about your day.

You will wish you had more hours in the day to clean house, because things are piling up but.you're.just.too.tired.

You will wonder why you're so tired, and think less of yourself when every other mother on the planet seems to be doing just fine but somehow you are drowning. How do they seem to be so happy and have it all so perfect?

You will question a lot about yourself.

You will wonder sometimes if you are even cut out for this.

You will have a LOT of conversations with God.

You will wish your significant other could just magically understand you, and what you're thinking, because it's hard to "get" each other some times.

You will realize how easy life was before when you could go get a pedicure on a whim with a friend. Then go to lunch and shop. Then maybe have dinner, and get home at 8pm.

You will spend a long time just trying to finish that one-novel you've been trying to read for 3 months.

You will, if you're like me, work a full workday and wish you could go home and take a nap. Nope.

You will send many phone calls to voicemail because you don't have enough hands to hold the phone, or the desire to speak with anyone.

You will let so many calls go to voicemail, then suddenly realize there are people whom you have neglected and sent to voicemail far too many times.

You will wish people would just text you instead, then quickly find that one friend who doesn't text. (REALLY?? Get with it!) ;)

You will look forward to something months in advance, and when the time comes, you have to cancel because he is sick.

You will notice some of your friends don't involve you in planning things because they're certain you won't be able to go now that you're a mom.

You will feel left out of a lot.

You will make plans to go out with a friend (bringing the baby along), then have to cancel because someone is too fussy and you can't get him to calm down.

You will spend time thinking you packed the perfect diaper bag, and when he has too many accidents in public and you are out of a change of clothes, you will break down and cry, because every thing seems to be going wrong that day.

You will discover the only down time you have is after he goes to bed, and at that time your "to-do list" is overly lofty, ridiculous, and will never get done.  Laundry, dishes, school work, write blog, clip coupons, wash bottles, take a shower, do actual work-related work (lesson plans), eat dinner (?), edit photos from past photography sessions, catch up on emails...

You will wish you were more productive with your time before he was born.  Before everything became a blur.  Before you and your spouse both worked full time jobs, and tried to finish degrees, and weren't working over time.



I won't lie.  I think about all these things.  I stay tired, but I'm used to it by now, so I don't really notice it, but I know it's there because things are different.
Michael and I both wanted a child, and though things can be difficult, we wouldn't change having Blake.
Nothing can prepare you for parenthood. No book. No friend. No blog entry. Not even this one. I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from having a baby, but I also feel that becoming a parent would be even more difficult for those who are unsure of becoming a parent at all.
Michael and I felt that it was our time because we knew something was missing in our lives. We were ready to take the next step.
If you're content with the way things are and you aren't ready to have that disrupted, then it's likely you aren't ready yet.


Just be prepared, when you are ready and when the baby arrives you will wish for a lot of things….but you will never wish they weren't born.

What I've Learned (So Far) About Being a Mom #3 (And a Chime in my from "dad")

(And a Chime in my from my husband, AKA: "Dad")

…Continued
What I've Learned (So Far) About Being a Mom #1
What I've Learned (So Far) About Being a Mom #2

29. I've cursed my hips my entire life.  I was always jealous of those "straight" girls who could fit into ANYTHING and look amazing.  My pant sized is based on my hips and what I can fit over them.  These days I find that I am thankful for them, because I can easily rest Blake on a hip and go about my business.  It's like a little God-given seat for babies.  And it relieves a lot of weight from my arms!

30. My house is never going to be as clean as it used to be.  Toys are slowly creeping into my living room, and I'm slowly beginning to be okay with this. Slooooowwwly.

31. I never have enough bibs.  The kid has a drawer full and I'm still constantly running out.

32. I never-ever-ever-ever thought I'd own a van, but it's the BEST! I'll laugh alongside you when you call me a "soccer-mom", but punch you in the face if you make fun of me or say anything beyond that.  I will never buy anything else from now on! I have loads of storage, room for stroller and hundreds of shopping bags, a huge center console, comfy seats, and I can walk around in my own vehicle if I need to get to my kid quickly.  Oh, and it has 11 cup holders!

33. Burt's Bees diaper rash cream is the bees knees. It's not thick and sticky like Desitin tends to be, and it really does dry like a powder.

Buy it on Amazon!

34. It's increasingly difficult to attend Happy Hour with friends, as I used to do after work.  As I sit here writing this I am enjoying a nice glass of red wine, staring at Blake peacefully sleeping on the baby monitor at 8:45PM and thinking "this is my happy hour"…

35. There really is very little time for Michael and I to spend time with one another. Therefore,  we try to Make.Every.MINUTE.Count!

36. I can smell baby throw up the moment I walk into a room.  Gross.

37. While I do capture many photos of Blake using my handy dandy iPhone, being a photographer has not lent its successes in taking professional photos of my own child.  I've slacked in that area, and for that I am very regretful. :(

38. The music I listened to during pregnancy did seem to carry over when he entered the world.  I listened to a lot of country music and it's the music that seems to calm him the most.

39. When I was pregnant I was so worried about not loving Blake as much as I love my dogs.  Seriously. I still love my dogs to pieces, but, you know…..

40. I'm not sure I'll ever successfully juggle everything and be awesome at it all: working, being a mom, maintaining a clean house, being a good wife, photographing, keeping up with friends. How do people do it?  I think I'll die trying. HA.


(And a Chime in my from my husband. AKA "dad")

1. I never thought that I would have very little free time compared to what I had before.  In fact, my free time is nearly non-existent. 

2. No matter how shitty things are (work!), Blake's smile makes it better. I can't help but smile and laugh back at him when I walk through the door.  He's always happy to see me!  And it's totally mutual. 

3. I didn't realize how expensive a baby would be, even based on what everyone told me.  They've turned out to be right! 

4. I never knew how hard having a newborn would be on our marriage. Everything changes. Not necessarily in a bad way--it just becomes…..different.  In a way that you both have to get accustomed to.  Plus, there are a lot of things you have to figure out as new parents.  It's rough. 

5. On the list of most challenging things in life, having a newborn is #1.
6. I never realized how annoying my wife would be when it comes to writing blog nonsense (LOL!) How does she do this and enjoy it so much? 

Back to mom…
Thanks, babe. Thanks!

Sleep Training Continued

I'm happy to report that the sleep training is going well. This makes me very excited, and has allowed me to celebrate one success of parenting.  There are so many times that I feel like such a bad mom, so I'm very thankful when I have a clear answer that I'm doing something right, or well.  I won't lie, it's been hard, but each night it gets better!

My last entry on sleep training was 2 nights ago.  Last night went VERY well.  I put Blake down as he was awake and he laid in bed entertaining himself for quite some time.  He cried for about 5 minutes then dozed off to sleep without waking himself up at all.  He didn't wake again until 7:30am. (By the way, have I mentioned that he is sleeping 10-12 straight hours?  SUCH A BLESSING!) Tonight I laid him in bed, again, awake, and he started to cry after about 6 minutes.  I laid him down at 8:28, and he cried until 8:35 when I noticed his foot was stuck in the bed railings.  I went upstairs to remove his foot and quietly said "Good night.  I love you."  Then repositioned him in the center of the bed and walked off.  He cried for 8 minutes after that.  He was pretty upset that he couldn't get his foot out so I really think this is why he was crying for such a length of time.  He made himself comfortable in the bed…for him this means rolling over onto his stomach. I seriously cannot break him of this, and it's clearly become his new favorite position.  I'm just letting him.  Starting to wonder though if I should put his bumpers back on the bed because he manages to spin himself around at night and I'm concerned he's going to hit his head.  His bumpers are not breathable.  Though this doesn't concern me too much because he's got really great head control, so I feel he would have enough sense to reposition himself. (Yes? No? Maybe so?) I read online that if infants have good neck control then they are most likely "safe."

It's funny how "sleep training" really is "training", and that "training" does not flow from nighttime to nap time, because we have NOT mastered this for naps.  That seems to be a whole other training in itself.  I need to get on this, but truthfully, I enjoy holding him and cuddling him as he naps.  He's getting so big so fast and it's our time together.  If I were wise then I would use this time to clean my house and get things done, but my little man has taken a priority.  Sometimes I do place him in the Baby Bjorn and do chores, but sometimes I'm too tired and just want to cuddle.

I don't mean to make this sleep training sound like it's a breeze. It's difficult to hear him cry, because every mommy bone in my body wants to rush upstairs, pick him up, and hold him! It was rough going upstairs tonight to remove his foot from the railing then walk away as he was crying.  I just had to tell myself this would be better in the end and take the advice from my friends who said "He won't remember this day.  You're not hurting him by letting him cry it out."  (Remember, my cap is 20 minutes of crying and on the worst night he cried for EXACTLY 20 minutes then went right to sleep.  Since then it's been 10 or less.) It's hard, it's hard, it's hard.  But I'm so glad we are doing it. And he's really being a champ about it!

I really feel that a nightlight has been crucial in this, just so he's not in the dark.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe it has no impact on him whatsoever, but it does give me peace of mind.  For what ever reason.  Currently we are using a nightlight that is normally in the kitchen, which is in the shape of a wine bottle.  Totally inappropriate for a child!  It's all we had.  I've been in so many stores and have searched online attempting to find one that I like. To my surprise, I couldn't find one at Pottery Barn. Finally, I had the bright idea to try Etsy! Why didn't I think of this before?  Etsy is one of my favorite sites!
So, I'm excited to receive this little gem in the mail….

This seller has many cute things if you'd like to check them out here!

To all my fellow sleep training mommies, or sleep-trainers-to-be, hang in there! IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU! Trust me on that one!